I'm A Mess
by heroherondaletotheresuce
Summary: Prompt from anonymous – Tessa and Jem mourning the death of William in the 21st century. One-Shot. Angst/Hurt/Comfort. Jem/Tessa with mentions of William.


I'm a Mess

_**JWESSA**__ - Minor details altered to fit the one-shot. _**Rated T. **

_Prompt from anonymous – Tessa and Jem mourning the death of William in the 21__st__ century. _

_Mostly angst/comfort… slightly cheesy/cliché at times. Sorry. ;) _

**Disclaimer:** All characters are owned by Cassandra Clare. I only own my creative genius.

Raindrops trickle down the window, slowly seeping through a small gap at the bottom, forming a puddle on the windowsill; not that she cares about that anyway. Today was the anniversary of her husband's death. The years were bricks being paved down, the centuries turning into walls, separating her from the life she once had. But the wounds, oh the wounds were fresh, stinging with every movement she made, burning with every thought. Tessa Herondale vanished once her husband had past. William was her sun, and she'd lost him…though in the process she did find her moon. She found Jem. Words could not describe the joy she felt when she was reunited with him… and at this present moment in time, words could not describe the pain she endured; so she shut herself out from the world as she usually did and she stared effortlessly as the rain fell, the smell of petrichor infusing the air.

It was nearing 5am when Jem awoke, turning over in _their_ double bed, only to find an empty spot. Jem slipped out of bed, his cotton pyjama pants hanging loosely on his waist as he rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the sleepy state he was in. He quietly walked down the hall and into the living room of the quaint New York apartment when he spotted her, legs crossed on the wooden floors with a throw rug draped carelessly over her shoulders as she stared out the window, entranced by the rain. It was at this moment that Jem let out a sigh, feeling slightly helpless. He knew that today was the anniversary of the death of his parabatai; and he felt the pain just as much as Tessa did. His brother had died, the only thing he could be grateful for was that he lived a full life, a happy life with Tessa. Jem knew that this was something they both had to overcome, and even though it had been countless years since his death, it still hurt that he was gone… and that they were still here.

Jem boiled the kettle, brewing two cups of tea and then made his way to sit down next to Tessa, handing her a mug. She was finally broken out of her trance and she accepted the cup of earl grey, warmth spreading to her hands and love swelling deep in her chest. Even when Jem didn't have words to say, he was always there for her, with a comforting presence. The two sat in silence, listening to the pitter patter of the rain and remembering their friend, the wild Herondale that they adored with all of their hearts. Tessa mumbled a thank you to Jem, and he nodded in reply, a small smile gracing his lips. He put an arm around Tessa, resting his head on left shoulder, leaving her intoxicated with the smell of his musky scent. She was about to speak when he beat her to it.

"I know words cannot begin to describe your pain, so don't speak. Just know that I understand my love, and it's alright to hurt, even after all these years I still do myself," Jem whispered, closing his eyes and intertwining their fingers.

"You'll get through it, you are strong Theresa Gray," Jem said, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. There was a moment of silence spare the rainfall. She let out a heavy sigh, her eyelids fluttering closed.

"We… We'll get through it. It's what William would have wanted," she could feel her chest tightening and tears springing behind closed eyelids. "But I still miss him so much," she choked out, the tears trickling down her face and soon Jems mirrored her own. She let out a sob and tightened the hold Jem had on her. Even though she knew things would be alright, that they'd get through this, that Jem would always be there for her, she still cried for the man who stole her heart. One thing was for sure, she knew that William Herondale would always hold a piece of her heart.

**A/N: **I'M BACK. Sorry if this was too much angst for a comeback, but it's the only thing I could pump out that I was actually happy with. I finally finished high school, graduated and am now enjoying freedom. University starts next year March. Fingers crossed that I get in (I'll keep you updated ;) ) So now that I've got some more time on my hands, I'm going to try and keep writing one-shots, not sure I'll venture into the fic territory at this point, because we all know how well that worked for me last time. ;) Maybe a multi-chaptered series at most. I wrote this at 3am whilst listening to Ed Sheeran's "I'm a Mess", which was great inspiration. Hope you enjoy this and reviews are always great, as well as constructive criticism- tell me what you loved about it, what you hated, everything! ;) Thanks guys.

P.s. Sorry for any grammar or punctuation mistakes. I don't have a beta, so this is all me at 3am. ;) x

Heroherondaletotherecuse.


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